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Thread: Office Building Antics

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    39.739N, 104.984W

    Office Building Antics

    I'm siting in my cube, its 37F (2.8C) outside and the building Air Conditioner is on full blast, my right hand is frozen and numb, and I've got 45 min of work left. :cry:

    This made me think of a good pub topic, reminisce about some of the "interesting" office buildings (or things that happened there) you've had a CAD job at. I'll start.


    I work the late shift and a couple weeks ago I walked in on the cleaning lady and trash man making out (getting to second base) on the mens bathroom sink counter. Not only was the situation uncomfortable me but that counter doesn't look all that comfortable either.


    The last building I worked at was full on hit by lightning about 30 from my head. I thought my cube had been point blank shot by a Howitzer, and me and my cube mates about back-flipped out of our chairs. Yes, I did pee a little. ops:


    My best worst honest to goodness story,
    A coworker of mine had borrowed a video tape from an unstable acquaintance of his. Well my coworker apparently didnt return the video tape quickly enough, to his mates chagrin. So the gentleman decided the best way to retrieve his truant video was, wait till my coworker was leaving the building for the day and hit him once in the face with the business end of a steel framing hammer.

    What I learned on that day: "Return the *&(% video on *&$ time! You stupid &%#! with *(&#*^ up @#$ till ^%$#% YEARRRRRRR %*&$ little *&%!@ on the (*&^%!"
    And that crazy people on crutches run fast. (you had to be there)
    And you should take ALL your medication(s).

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    39.739N, 104.984W
    You know... :? I feel a little weird that no one else posted in this thread...

  3. #3
    architech Guest
    here's one ....

    A co-worker (John) walks into the men's room.
    Another co-worker (Jim) is in the stall, sitting. :twisted:

    so John goes to the sink and wets a WAD of toilet paper. Throws it up into the ceiling ... over the stall ....

    runs out and shuts off the light as jim waits for the wad to land on his head before he has the chance to wipe and get out ....


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    39.739N, 104.984W
    Did Jim yell at you for that?

    My old boss was (probably still is) well know through out the office as a germ-aphob. One of the other engineers pretty much despised my boss and had given his two week notice (quit). On one of his last days in the office he dropped trousers and pressed "cheeks" against germ-aphobias' monitor with an accomplice to take a picture. A few months latter the accomplice sent the picture to my boss.

  5. #5
    architech Guest
    That's funny ... :mrgreen:

    No really there was a John. It wasn't me.
    What makes that story really funny is that John was a draftsman and Jim is a project architect. :P

    Fortunatley for John, Jim has a good sense of humor.

    Both Jim and John told me that story.

    Jim later FARTS REAL LOUD in John's face ..... as he was drafting away in his cube. :!:

  6. #6
    architech Guest
    .. I remember another story from the mail guy ....
    Someone had sex in one of the private offices ... and left some white stains in the carpet. :shock:

    Apparently the manger new what it was after some investigation. So he calls in the office manager to have someone clean it up. The office manager then calls the mail guy to look at it and clean it.

    The mail guy automatically knows what it is .....
    So he suggests to call in a clean crew. The office nervous about the bill says .. no ... just use some soap and water ....
    He then proceeds to kneel down and scratch & sniff the white crust ... :shock: ... the mail guy just stands there with a face ... :roll: ...
    I guess the office manager figured out what it was when both the mail guy and manager had wierd faces on ... :twisted:

    ... in the end the cleaning crew was called in to sanitize the private office...
    That guy, now, locks his office after he leaves at the end of the day ...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    39.739N, 104.984W
    Okay, next time I'll finish eating my bagel before reading chat posts.

    :lol: But that's still funny as hell. :lol:

  8. #8
    architech Guest
    ... yeah ... I figured you like that one .... :mrgreen:

    I have plenty of office antic stories ....

    Some are a bit lame ....

    Like .. we used put "scotch" tape over the phone reciever of each others ... (architectural CADD designers/ architects) ...
    So when the phone rang ... and you answered ... you could hear the person but they couldn't hear you. You'd keep yelling like fool at the top of your lungs just so they'd hear you ....

    Later the person would figure out some place some "CLEAR" tape over the phone reciever.

    Another would be ... We would call from another phone and leave a VOICEMAIL. The voiceamil would be either a BURP or FART or BOTH!
    Really makes someone MORNING when they pick up that voice mail. :mrgreen:

    another would taking the mouse ball out of someone's mouse .... and placing it on top of the monitor. The person wouldn't notice the ball until he or she tried to use it .....

    Another dumb jole would to place tape underneath the mouse ball....

    Or pull the mouse or keyboard chord out of the CPU tower by an 1/8" inch ... enough to look like it's connected but not enought to work ....

    And there's others where you need the guy to log in .... AND leave his computer ....

    Then you can send *** EMAILS ... like "I want your sex" to another guy in the office ....

    Or reset all his settings to a left handed person ...

    The list goes on and on ....

    We eventually stopped .... too many sore losers ... :evil:

    let me see if I can remember anymore for the office....
    Altho .. i have some antics outside the office too .. but still realted to the office ....

  9. #9
    architech Guest


    I hope you're not eating ... you've been warned ..... :twisted:

    Here' another REAL funny story.

    My company does "drug testing". *** go figure**** :shock: 8)

    ... it's random choice from a computer ....

    Pretty much ...
    You go to this clinic, sign in and wait for the nurse to call you.
    She comes into the lounge and says "Come w/ me" .....
    You go to a back room where the bathroom is ....
    This bathroom is special .... it has a switch OUTSIDE which SHUTS off the water in the bathroom! :shock: :shock:

    This means you can't flush or use the sink to wash your hands ....


    OK ...

    So this guy named Edison gets picked to go ...
    (Turns out Edison was drinking heavy the night before ..... :mrgreen: )

    .. So he drives over to the clinic to go PEE in the cup.

    Edison ... half drunk goes to the back and takes the cup and PEEs ....
    But the idiot ALSO needs to take a dump. 8)
    So HE DOES ........ :mrgreen:
    He then tries to flush but nothing happens.
    He looks up at the door where he begins to read the message of NO WATER being available during DRUG TESTING.

    He searches for toilet paper and something else to cover his brown pile but NO LUCK.
    So he continues to sit, pondering what to do ....
    The nurse knocks on the door wondering if everything is OK ....
    He answers ... just a minute ... ops: :shock: :cry:

    10 mins later she's knocking hard to open the door.

    He comes out with his head down and hands her the yellow cup.
    And she walks in to check for cheating ....
    .... she sees the gift he left behind ... and then give Edison the evil eye .....

    Edison turns red and she hands him a toilet roll and says finish your business and LEAVE!

    So he does and washes what he can and comes back to the office and tells the mail clerk who tells me ..... [" 2 F' ng FUNNY ] :mrgreen:

    `````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```

    You just can't make this stuff up ....

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    39.739N, 104.984W

    Monkeys see monkey... pee?

    Ahhh, the tape on the mouse ball... One of my favorites.

    I'm sure most of you got an email video of a chimpanzee baby peeing into its own mouth :shock: a couple of years ago.

    At then end of the day I got that video, I sent it to one of the project engineers, and then ran down to his office to laugh at it with him.

    Unfortunately for him, he had left for the evening, but his computer was still up and logged on. :wink:
    As a little joke I opened up the email I sent him, and put the monkey pee video on continuous loop and FULL SCREEN, turned off his monitor and walked away giggling like a little girl.

    The next morning I went to ask him if he "Got my email?" and he didn't have a clue what I was talking about. :? Just about then one of the other draftsmen walk in and ask, "Dude what the hell do you do with your computer all day?" Turns out the other draftsman and the IT guy needed something off of his computer that night, turned on his monitor and found my little monkey. :lol:

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