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NukeCad
09-09-2008, 10:28 PM
So the chief engineer at harley dies and goes to heaven.

He says to God "Hey I made the Harley the best bike in the world"

YES. BUT I CREATED WOMAN.

"Woman? The front end keeps moving about, The back end keeps moving about, The chassis keeps moving up and down"

MORE PEOPLE RIDE MINE THAN YOURS..

:thumbsup::thspitcoffee:

NukeCad
09-09-2008, 10:40 PM
So common girls

Its time to get your own back with some man jokes.

Plotter Guy
11-09-2008, 06:14 PM
Sorry nuke I just had to Paste this one in :)
# It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.

# Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?" "He replied, it doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens!"

# Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't suck.

# Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Lucas engineering guy that they had trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.

# Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas made the refrigerators, too.

# Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

# Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant."

Plotter Guy
11-09-2008, 06:33 PM
This had most of the state of Texas laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Then there were this MOM who had a lot of problems with potty training and his MOM was on him constantly. One day They stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying Their taco, She smelled something funny, so of course She checked her seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Her son had not asked to go potty in a while.
She asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". She kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then She said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied.
She just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, she asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident?
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made her feel better, thanking her for the best laugh they'd ever had!

NukeCad
11-09-2008, 10:10 PM
Lucas???

Dont repair it - throw it away and get one from Bosch instead.

Plotter Guy
12-09-2008, 12:43 AM
LOL Nuke did you have an accident?

NukeCad
12-09-2008, 05:52 PM
No its just that Lucas seemed to get stuck in the 50s technology when everyone else was in the 90s.

Plotter Guy
12-09-2008, 06:14 PM
No its just that Lucas seemed to get stuck in the 50s technology when everyone else was in the 90s.
Hell Nuke I'd been happy if they had made it to 50's tech. I Know the last English engineer was killed in the Blitz and ever since then it's all Draftsmen Cutting and pasting old designs together :)