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mad@cad
20-12-2007, 03:27 AM
Grungios -

It is times like this when I shy away from the advice of Dr. phil and take a more hands on approach. I consult the Joan Crawford Book of Parenting.
After treating the kids to Happy Meals, we return home and I go check my mail. Soon it is quiet and any parent knows quiet means trouble. I give them the benefit of the doubt. This proves to be a great mistake as I begin to smell a strange smell.
I walk into the kitchen to see what is going on, only to hydroplane across the floor on a very fine mist of aromatic powder. All 4 kids are in the pantry, hovering over a dirty trash can mixing cinnamon, Molly McButter, Oregano, Pepper, Allspice and Cheerios. Their are empty spice containers strewn about, an empty box of Cheerios...lids everywhere. I calmly, in a Joan Crawford fashion remove the kids from the pantry. I take out ziploc bags and begin to pack lunches and snacks for the next day.
Guess what Joan Crawford's serving for lunch!!! Grungios!!!! Flavorful little treats packed with lots of spices, bits of hair, paint chips and floor sweepings!!!! The kids totally freak out as I dump the contents of the trash into individual bags and place them in their backpacks. They think I'm crazy.

As I am sweeping I notice that a chair is in an odd spot. I notice Eric run away. I look closer to see that he has spilled an 18 ounce cup of gatorade (which he poured himself) and concealed it with a chair....on my hardwood floor. My newly refinished hardwood floor. I go to grab him and have to step over the poop where L had an explosion through her diaper and find Sarah drinking chocolate milk in the playroom. She was kind enough to use my robe to clean it up after I scared the hell out of her by "popping" my head in the room.

mad@cad
20-12-2007, 03:29 AM
While my daughter is playing with her Dora Talking kitchen, I hear screams and go up-stairs to investigate. I find that my daughter has been cooking up a special recipe. With a trail of poop toilet paper still hanging from her butt she professes her innocence.

The smell is horrific in her room. I begin to follow the smell to her kitchen. I see poop on the stove, poop on the pretend blender, poop on various utensils.

I open the refrigerator.

Sitting on a nice barbie plate is a fresh hot poop sandwich. "Sandwiched" between two "buns" of toilet paper and garnished with a plastic pickle freshly "squeezed from her "buns".

I yell " what the #$!! did you do?".

She shows me her foot and says "I stepped in poop while I was making hamburgers".
I just can't keep track of how many times I step in feces while cooking naked in the kitchen. I'm sure it is because I am to Joan Crawford to let her play with clay.

mad@cad
20-12-2007, 03:30 AM
My son who is 6 just told me a cool new thing about cars. I quote him...
"If you crash in them a huge whoopee cushion comes out and (insert sound) "farts".
"It can save your life".

Didn't flatulence kill the dinosaurs?
Gives new meaning to air bag!!!

mad@cad
20-12-2007, 03:32 AM
If you have it, Sarah wants it no matter what it is.
After spending $25 at McDonald's on our way back from the doctor, the kids open their happy meals. It takes about 5 seconds for Sarah to complain that Eric got the telescope....I really wanted chicken nuggets... I got a dumb bandana.... I got apple dippers and Haley got a treasure box.

Haley commented that she could put a diary in the treasure box.

Sarah has basically turned off her brain now and is in full blown fit-pitch mode.
She YELLS

"Haley got a diarrhea?"
(we all start laughing)

"Haley got diarrhea and I got a stupid bandana"...
(remember Varuca Salt from Willie Wonka?)
"Stop laughing at me!!"

"I want diarrhea!! Give it to me"
"I'll trade you my bandana for your diarrhea"

So I tell her no one has diarrhea, Haley has a treasure box that a diary could fit in. I say diarrhea is poop....I spell D-I-A-R-Y.

Lauren says in a happy voice " I have poop." "I have peanut butter in my bottom."

Eric says" Daddy throws up when Lauren has poop" "Throw up is vomit. Diarrhea is poop".

I turn up the radio and hope this will blow over. We get home and get out and Sarah looks at me and says "Um I still want diarrhea"

mad@cad
20-12-2007, 03:34 AM
In case this gets filtered... the bleeped word is
D
I
C
K
S
O

While strolling through the dollar section of Target for what I refer to as "shut them up" items, Sarah eyes what she wants.
Loudly she proclaims
"****so"
"****so"
"****so ball"
"I want that ****so ball"
I tell her "DISCO, IT'S A DISCO BALL" "D-I-S-C-O-"

She says

"That's what I said ****SO"

"****SO BALL and I WANT IT"

As we shop she makes up a little tunes like "I love my ****so". and "Laurie Lou poppin a cap, Laurie Lou is poppin a cap"...

To which Lauren replies in her loudest voice

"I NOT POPPING A CAP SARAH."

" I GOT POOP."

" PEANUT BUTTER POOP IN MY BOTTOM".

OK. Peachy

People are already looking at us, as Lauren has in fact totally loaded up her diaper and the smell is like that of a rotting ancient elephant carcass.

Not to mention a child singing a song about ****sos.

We then go to checkout. The teenage cashier cracks up laughing when Sarah says
"MAMA...DID YOU GET BATTERIES FOR YOUR ****SO".

I replied simply "No, we have PLENTY OF ****SO batteries at home already.

mad@cad
20-12-2007, 03:35 AM
Songs Inspired by the ****so Ball



to the tune of O Christmas Tree..

O ****so Ball O ****so Ball

So very round and shiny

you are so loud and ob-nox-ious

I wonder why I bought you



to the tune of Macho Man..

****so ****so Ball

I want to see the ****so ball

****so ****so ball

I want to be a ****so ball



to the tune of Muffin Man.. written by Sarah

Do you see the ****so ****so Ball

the ****so ball

the ****so ball

Do you see the ****so ****so Ball

It spins and twinkles and shines

mad@cad
20-12-2007, 03:37 AM
This is a copy of the listing on eBay where I sold my daughter's baby bottles.

It was titled

"Supernatural Baby Bottle Lot" and included a fuzzy photo of the bottles.

Read below...the Eerie true story of the power inside these bottles.
This is The Diary of taking a 2 year old off the bottle.....
Continue reading only if you are very brave. This is very scary.
Night 1
7 p.m. - 12 hours with no bottle
12 Hours of whining are to painful to put into words. Just to give you an idea...I have heard the word bottle 1437 times today, I have been hit with 14 toys and had THE CUP thrown at me 19 times.

8 p.m. - Bedtime for Baby
Put diaper and big girl panties on Baby and tell her the "big girl story".
She asks for bottle. I walk away, and go downstairs to watch and listen from the monitor.
30 agonizing minutes later I get a bottle. A wine bottle. I have a glass and go to her room to find her still whining and screaming.

9 p.m. - Wine
I tell her what a big girl she is and tuck in Hello Kitty and then myself. Whining starts promptly as I leave her sight...she begins calling out "milk...bottle...daddy...bottle...manta..sarah...bo ttle...grammommie...milk". She repeats this many many times over. I go have more wine.

10 p.m. - Rearranging crib
Crying hysterically now Baby throws EVERYTHING from her bed. I calmly "reload" the bed and leave. Baby gets quiet at 10:30. By now I have had 3 glasses of wine and must go to the bathroom. I roll over in bed to get up and hear a loud bed squeak..I freeze and listen...I hear "mama". I stay in bed afraid to move for fear of another squeak. 10 minutes pass..I arise to step on the spot on the floor that makes a loud popping sound. Again I freeze and listen. "ba". "want ba".

10:28 p.m. what next
My bladder is feeling like a 20 pound weight as I stand for 3 more minutes before tip toeing to the toilet. I smile to myself for avoiding any further squeaks or pops only to have the bathroom door give off a sound like an out of tune violin in a library.

11:00 p.m. - snowflakes
I Indiana Jones my way back to bed...leave the bathroom door open, step over the floor pop, climb in bed from the foot. I listen. All is quiet until my other child comes in...leaves the door open exposing us to the loud TV from downstairs...plops on the squeaky bed spot and says in a regular speaking voice "Do you know how to make paper snowflakes?". Livid.. (it is a school night) I convince (with no words)...her to leave but as she goes she steps on the spot I refer to as "the burglar alarm". A spot that not only pops loudly SEVERAL times but finishes with a loud LONG squeak.

Baby starts to whine quietly. I finish my wine, put on my MP3 player and try to imagine it was just a dream.
(yes my husband was home for back up)
Anything that can keep your child up for 16 1/2 hours day after day ...must have supernatural powers.

Day 2 was worse.
Night 2 could be a movie.

mad@cad
20-12-2007, 03:38 AM
Sarah's reason for not cleaning her room.....

"I can't clean my room because my hands will be heavy".

"I can't clean my room cause I'll step in poop."

mad@cad
20-12-2007, 03:39 AM
Sarah tells me she wants something to eat.

I say "what?" (as in what do you want).

She repeats "I want something to eat".

So I look at her again and say "what?"

This time she gets right in my face and yells
"I WANT SOMETHING TO EAT".

I yell back at her "WWWHHHHAAAAAATTTTT?"

She runs off crying and says" I don't MEADA tell you since you don't hear!!!!"
:o:o:o:o:o:o:o

architech
20-12-2007, 04:34 AM
WOW!:o

Your life sounds like another mom here before she re-married... :rolleyes:

The same one who "exclaimed" i had an idea... :)

Hmmm... I give you 3 guesses.... as to who that was....

Chicks...
Go figure....

Luv!!!!!!!!! the lunch bag of homemade vomit... :)

And luv the vertical cursing....
Hmmmm... cool idea.... LOL :D



You have to admit...
posting all that.... venting had to take the edge off...
just a little bit..... ??? :confused: :banghead3 :boohoo:

Nite ms Georgia

Webmaster
20-12-2007, 07:55 AM
A Day in the life of in 12 minutes!? very entertaining Mad :)

VERYCIVILDRAFTER
20-12-2007, 03:29 PM
I had my aunt watch my 3 year old son several days ago...

I get home and she tells me everything has gone fine except for one little thing.
He told her he's taking her to Fu*^ing Town! :o

And when she questioned him about it he said his "dad says it all the time".
:banghead3
I'm known to talk like a sailor, but not to people under 4' tall.
I questioned him about it and he clamed up, so I assumed he was saying the F word, and told him not to say it again.

A few days later I catch him singing to himself: "Won't you take me to. To F@#$ing Town. Won't you take me to. To F@#$ing Town."

Yeah, I sing bad 70s disco music... all the time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BiuttQl0xM

mom of 3
20-12-2007, 04:04 PM
oh no!!!!!!!!! that's pretty funny, though, when you think about it..........

my son always got in trouble in daycare for saying :signdammi. I got a call from his teacher at work one day, I didn't cuss around him & the teacher knew that, so I said something to his father (the idiot ex).........."I don't say that around him, why are you telling me this?"............yeah, so later on, I hear him saying :signdammi around munchkin, I glared at him.........."oh, oops, I guess I do"...........
:mad:
what a ****head!

architech
20-12-2007, 06:24 PM
So "Ms. Georgia"? :confused:

Did you really send the kids off with that trash stew this morning????

Or was it just for shock value last night??? :D:o


Too funny...

You should've brought it in and left it on the bosses desk for lunch today...
LOL :p

mad@cad
20-12-2007, 07:11 PM
That happened a while back. They are 4 6 8 and 9 now. I did actually pack the grungio's and send them to school after emailing their teachers. They went around saying "our mom is crazy" "she's lost het mind", but they never made grungio's again.

mad@cad
15-01-2008, 08:02 PM
I lost my car today in the parking lot of target.

:boohoo::boohoo::boohoo::boohoo::boohoo::boohoo:

Webmaster
16-01-2008, 03:17 PM
I lost my car today in the parking lot of target.

:boohoo::boohoo::boohoo::boohoo::boohoo::boohoo:

LOL:drinks:

mad@cad
16-01-2008, 03:59 PM
Few things are as bad as losing your car. I daily lose my bluetooth, glasses or cell phone. Understandable, as they are small, but lose a lincoln towncar?

It was windy and cold as I strolled out into the parking lot with several heavy bags. I thought I had made a mental note as to were I parked. Note to self...don't take mental notes. Mental notes require thinking. Thinking requires a brain and clearly, mine is :nowork:
5 minutes into my search I see a big white car about 4 rows over and start walking that way. Not my car. I think man, did someone steal my car? Some ahole has stolen my car. My husband suggests pushing the panic button. No dice. I'm just glad my :baby::baby::baby::baby: are not with me. I'd never hear the end.

I notice that there are some guys eating lunch in their truck who are watching me and laughing at me. Clearly I have no freaking clue where my car is. I debate on calling the office and having someone come and find the car. I wonder if the Target security guys have gathered around the monitors "hey guys, we have another lost idiot in the parking lot".

Now 7 minutes have passed and my feet are frozen. I nearly break a heel as I pass by the laughing and now pointing guys....again. I was sooo tempted to take off my shoe and offer to give them a few new eye sockets when my brain starts working.:thumbsup:

Just when I was seriously considering crying, cursing or suicide, I see another big white car. Usually I park as far away as I can but it was so windy that I had parked closer to the building. It took me 9 minutes to find my car.
I went home and drank wine.

architech
16-01-2008, 04:39 PM
Moral of the story here (from a husband perspective)

STOP SHOPPING! :banghead3

mad@cad
16-01-2008, 04:55 PM
NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN
NEVER
EVER
EVER

mad@cad
28-01-2008, 02:45 PM
My arms fell off.
I hear this quite often. Usually in the form of an excuse.

I can't do my homework... my arms fell off.

I can't clean my room... my arms fell off.

I can't eat peas... my arms fell off.

Well we were awakened by a screaming 4 year old who was convinced that,
her arm had fallen off in her sleep. I said which arm fell off? She lifted a stump under her night shirt and wiggled "this one". She's crying big tears while we are all laughing. Her arm had just gotten stuck in her sleeve. Even after seeing that she did still have an arm, she was freaked.

She cried for 3 days when I pulled her nose off as a baby.

I guess I'll restrain myself from telling her she is really a robot and we plug her in at her belly button at night.

My son still to this day thinks he might have been born with a tail ( and he's 9).

mad@cad
28-01-2008, 06:53 PM
:nowork::signdammi:r_wtf::r_wtf::r_wtf::thumbs_do

uuuuurrrrrggggghhhhhhh I hate it when my stuff does not work. This is an all out
b
i
t
c
h
fit

kids;fjsfjdskjfsdlkjfsdlkfjpoetf (misc profanity)


crap... just crap

:banghead3:banghead3

architech
28-01-2008, 10:17 PM
Sounds like you're having a soccer mom day....
:baby:
:boohoo:
:BreastFeeding:
:birth:

Awwww....

What's their names... and ages...???
4 kids right... :)


funny stuff.... :thspitcoffee:


My son still to this day thinks he might have been born with a tail ( and he's 9).

mad@cad
29-01-2008, 01:11 PM
4 6 8 and 10
it just happened that way

civiltech1680
30-01-2008, 12:41 AM
I guess I'll restrain myself from telling her she is really a robot and we plug her in at her belly button at night.

Mad, I have a 5 year old daughter, and this just makes me roll over laughing. You mind if I borrow it??

mad@cad
30-01-2008, 01:19 PM
borrow away. :)

Webmaster
30-01-2008, 05:00 PM
LOL, classic. :)

civiltech1680
30-01-2008, 10:56 PM
Denial. The answer to everything.

mad@cad
31-01-2008, 01:33 PM
denial works for me and it is much cheaper than a shrink.

just ask brittany spears...

mad@cad
15-02-2008, 01:50 PM
My rear view mirror fell off in my lap.

That so sucks.

mad@cad
25-02-2008, 06:14 PM
My 6 year old said "someone needs to spray the SMELL FRESHENER"....(air freshener). I thought about it and she is right, you are not freshening air... you are freshening a smell.

We moved from a house with a huge useless 3 story foyer to a house with an average usable foyer. I told my 8 year old son to put his backpack in the foyer and he replied with... "we have a foyer?"

For dinner I made a quiche. My 4 year old was eggcited to have an "egg pie". I laughed and she said "I like SHEESH. It's an egg pie"

Webmaster
26-02-2008, 11:11 AM
Freshening a smell!? Surely you are freshening the air which has been poluted by a bad smell, so you are freshening the air.....

Why did I post this?...

mad@cad
26-02-2008, 01:14 PM
I ask myself that same question often.

The answer, I believe is

boredom

mom of 3
26-02-2008, 06:03 PM
"someone needs to spray the SMELL FRESHENER"....(air freshener).
I think that's cute! I may have to use that when B's garbage can starts to reek of dirty diapers.........



hey.....where's the stinky smilie? I think we need one of those........

Webmaster
26-02-2008, 10:33 PM
Yeh and while thats being drafted can someone knock out a boredom one...

mad@cad
03-03-2008, 04:00 PM
I hurt my back this weekend. I used the cool little moving men fisbee looking things and just pushed some heavy furniture with NO Effort whatsoever.

I lookad back to admire my work and thought damn, that was sooo easy and I did not hurt my back. So I did the twist in celebration and threw out my back

mom of 3
03-03-2008, 06:29 PM
I'm sorry, mad! don't things always work out that way?

mad@cad
03-03-2008, 08:00 PM
yes, somedays it seems murphy's law should have been named mad's law.

who do i petition to have that changed?

mad@cad
04-03-2008, 06:38 PM
I went to buy a $ 4.19 pack of candles at Target and guess how much I spent?

Do they like pump some sort of shop til you are in debit drug in the air system there?

mom of 3
05-03-2008, 01:29 PM
ooooooo, clearance racks in Target always get money out of me for some reason. so do the ones at Borders & Old Navy...........& I hate to shop!!!!!!

mad@cad
05-03-2008, 01:45 PM
retail therapy baby

I LOVE LOVE LOVE to shop

just not with the 4 little shoppers with me.

I often shop for myself at childrens place and the girls department at Target (cute skirts).

I do draw the line at the glittery bunny t-shirts.

You hate to shop...hmmmmmm
A girl who hates to shop? You need to go buy a really expensive purse. One that needs financing. Buy two expensive purses and call me in the morning...

We will continue therapy as needed.

mom of 3
05-03-2008, 02:19 PM
buy a purse?!!!!!! uh, mad, my purse is either a diaper bag or a backpack right now..........

I've not been to Children's Place yet.......aren't they pretty expensive? I wouldn't fit into any of those clothes, though........but I will have to buy a new wardrobe soon, of I can't lose this 40# that's hanging out on me...........

I probably don't care to shop because I worked in retail for so long........I will shop online every once in a while, though.........at VS.........:D

mad@cad
05-03-2008, 02:27 PM
VS is my fav fav fav.

Coach (coach is my fav... it is covered with the first letter in my hubbys name)
has a very nice bag with plenty of room for diapers, wipes, cell phone, wallet and pistol.

I just took down the crib!!! First time since 1998 that there has been no crib!!!
:boohoo::boohoo::boohoo::boohoo:

CP has good prices and awesome clearance

mom of 3
05-03-2008, 02:32 PM
I think we have a Coach outlet store here.........I think. I will have to check it out.......maybe I will find something. I doubt it, but who knows.

VS is the only place I can find, uh...........that one thing that fits me. I can't find them in any other store - well, maybe Lane Bryant, but not very often as it's too small a size to stock there - & I get frustrated. I like their clearance sales, too!

I never went in to CP because I thought they were too pricey. I will have to check it out. Can I shop online there?
;)

mad@cad
05-03-2008, 02:47 PM
She was to lortab-ed out to ever even notice.

Eventually she was fired.

Her excell formulas were modified and had a grossly incorrect balance making it look like the company had a buncha money in the bank when they had notta.

mad@cad
05-03-2008, 03:15 PM
Coach has a secret sale that starts at midnight thanksgiving at some outlet stores. I have heard it is like run and grab whatever you see since the deals are 50-90% off. All mine were full price, so I can't go in Coach til turkeyday.

I'll so be camping there this year.

CP may have online, they send you lots of coupons if you open an account.


I used to have your vs issue, but mine are really a much more managable longitute and latitude now. And besides that, they don't get closed in the mini van door as much anymore.

mom of 3
05-03-2008, 03:20 PM
And besides that, they don't get closed in the mini van door as much anymore.
:thspitcoffee:

mad@cad
05-03-2008, 04:52 PM
hey that crap hurts:BreastFeeding:

mad@cad
07-03-2008, 08:04 PM
284
...

mad@cad
07-03-2008, 08:04 PM
285
...

whats this 5 characters stuff?

Cad64
07-03-2008, 08:30 PM
284
...


285
...


I thought you said they had to be legit???

mad@cad
10-03-2008, 12:11 PM
point taken
to much :cup: that day

I'll stick to xanax today and be more restrained

mad@cad
11-03-2008, 05:11 PM
This morning I put my sweater in dryer with some other clothes to de-wrinkle. When it was time to leave I opened the dryer to get out my nicely de-wrinkled warm sweater... only to find that the corner of a towel had been closed in the dryer door.

My nice warm toasty de wrinkled sweater was twisted into more knots than an A.D.D. boyscout could tie on crack.

:banghead3:r_wtf:

mad@cad
13-03-2008, 03:49 PM
I was home sick yesterday, and I was on the toilet.

I ate a few bites of some of the most rank green beans and was sicker than the poor dudes who had to pry "the thinker" off her can.

No kidding.


People on fear factor don'r even eat crap that nasty.

Cad64
13-03-2008, 07:47 PM
Well at least you weren't stuck there for two years.

:thspitcoffee:

Eddie
13-03-2008, 11:21 PM
what a BUMMER (grining)

mad@cad
14-03-2008, 01:27 PM
bummer...:thspitcoffee:

architech
18-03-2008, 03:15 AM
No word from Ms. Georgia... :confused:
I wonder if the "tornado" that hapenned down there... has something to do with her disappearance... :confused:

I hope you're ok... MAD...:baby::(

mom of 3
18-03-2008, 11:48 AM
No word from Ms. Georgia... :confused:
I wonder if the "tornado" that hapenned down there... has something to do with her disappearance... :confused:

I hope you're ok... MAD...:baby::(
she did take the day off from work yesterday, but I've been worried about her, too. another friend of mine can see damage from his house, but he was spared........nor did he even realize a tornado (or whatever it was) had hit!

mad@cad
18-03-2008, 12:52 PM
It was a very 'hail'acious weekend. SOOOO much wind and hail. We live surrounded by pine trees and it was ugly. I'll post some pics. Downtown looks like a war zone.
As soon as we heard the "train" sound... my hubby had me in the bath tub with my coach purse (what a husband!!!!!), a pillow and blankets AND it was not for romantic reasons. He ran out and took some pics then hopped in with me. The worst part was 2 days of this and then storm after storm. After the hail we had some twilight zoneish fog!!!!

More in a bit...catching up on actual work

mom of 3
18-03-2008, 02:23 PM
glad you are ok, Mad.............

mad@cad
18-03-2008, 03:40 PM
I faired far better than the pine trees!!

Thanks for thinking of us!!

mad@cad
02-05-2008, 01:03 PM
butt welded
2 pieces that are butted together, abutted ends thickened, and fused using heat.





in my current situation..
this somehow struck me as.....

funny
:thspitcoffee:

It's gonna be one of THOSE Fridays

mad@cad
12-05-2008, 04:40 PM
LAUREN
What is milk made out of?

MAD
Cheese

LAUREN
What is mayo made of?

MAD
Eggs

LAUREN
Where does milk come from?

MAD
Cows

LAUREN
Cheese comes from cows?
Cheese comes from cows…..cows….cows ?
LAUREN
Where do eggs come from?

MAD chickens

LAUREN MAYO COMES FROM CHICKEN? - as in mayo comes from egg..which are from chickens

MAD YES HERE IS YOUR COW CHICKEN & CHEESE SANDWICH

MAD Would you like mustard?

LAUREN Where does mustard come from?

MAD MAD REALLY MAD THE REFRIGERATOR!!!!!!

mom of 3
12-05-2008, 05:01 PM
:thspitcoffee:

architech
12-05-2008, 05:28 PM
I like Lauren.... :p
LOL

mad@cad
23-07-2008, 03:59 PM
I
have
decided
to quit my job
as a cad operator
and breed chia pets.

VERYCIVILDRAFTER
23-07-2008, 04:29 PM
I don't know that breeding Chia Pets would be good for you. I think it'd be hard to sleep though the clinking sound of banging porcelain?

mad@cad
23-07-2008, 05:08 PM
no man
chia pets are quiet once they are out of the baby stage and have "hair".

NukeCad
23-07-2008, 08:56 PM
We still dont have those in the Uk.

Who do I talk to to get exclusive rights to sell them?

VERYCIVILDRAFTER
24-07-2008, 02:45 PM
no man
chia pets are quiet once they are out of the baby stage and have "hair".
:thspitcoffee:
OooOOoohhhh! Of course! What was I thinking?!?


(That makes so much sense it's scary.)

mad@cad
24-07-2008, 03:03 PM
plus their mouths are baked shut and they don't have potty parts =

no noise and no dirty diapers

VERYCIVILDRAFTER
24-07-2008, 06:17 PM
plus their mouths are baked shut

Damn it! I just ordered a Chia Head.

Now what the hell am I going to do with it?

architech
05-08-2008, 07:28 PM
July 25, 2008 ... Mad misses "archi" b-day.... :birth:

August 4, 2008 ... Mad misses "VCD" b-day.... :boohoo:

August 5, 2008.... We're still waiting on that picture of her to be posted up...

:p


:Welcome:

Plotter Guy
05-08-2008, 08:38 PM
For dinner I made a quiche. My 4 year old was eggcited to have an "egg pie". I laughed and she said "I like SHEESH. It's an egg pie"
I'd Keep that Quiet if I were you Mad CPS might see that as abuse making your kids eat FRU-FRU Frenchie Food instead of good old American Mac and Cheeze :)

Plotter Guy
05-08-2008, 08:57 PM
This morning I put my sweater in dryer with some other clothes to de-wrinkle. When it was time to leave I opened the dryer to get out my nicely de-wrinkled warm sweater... only to find that the corner of a towel had been closed in the dryer door.

My nice warm toasty de wrinkled sweater was twisted into more knots than an A.D.D. boyscout could tie on crack.


Mad I think I found my new sig line :) Thanks Sweety

VERYCIVILDRAFTER
05-08-2008, 10:40 PM
July 25, 2008 ... Mad misses "archi" b-day.... :birth:

Dang! :banghead3 I missed your b-day.

:drinks:

I'll raise two drinks for ya tonight to make up for it!

Plotter Guy
07-08-2008, 03:45 PM
The spiders are here in Texas they have Migrated, MY got the Spiders are everywhere. Thanks Mad Texas is now spider country,

VERYCIVILDRAFTER
07-08-2008, 06:27 PM
Out in the New Mexico country side (I lived there a lot of years) they get a Tarantula matting season for a week or so in October.

These big, hairy, black, M'Fers the size of your face would be on the move looking for a lady friend.
They were so big you could hear them run... or eat.

They'd be in all kinds of fun places in the mornings, like; the dog bowl, the dog house, behind trash cans, under misplaced yard tools, wood piles, or a coiled up garden hose.

At night they like to hang out under street lights, because the light attracts lots of bugs to eat. It makes a nice romatic evening walk when a spider the size of your girlfriends foot scurries out from the shadows.

Plotter Guy
08-08-2008, 02:15 PM
well Civil it's like this if these are Mad's spiders that have migrated here, My sisters BUG FAT @$$ Aught to keep the busy for the next 100 years

Alan Cullen
20-08-2008, 08:48 AM
G'day everyone.

I just joined this forum today, and was reading through the threads to get a feel for the forum. :)

I really enjoyed reading this thread. Every forum has its characters, and it would appear that the character at this place is MAD. (Not literally.....well maybe a bit) :D

Keep it up, Mad. ;)

mad@cad
13-09-2008, 04:11 PM
No my stress level is much higher now. When you go to the E.R. and a nurse whispers "Does 41 need to be in isolation?"
As I leave for my x-ray I realize I am in 41.

I am going to have to add a hospital horros story thread.

My LAST visit to a BIG clinic here was like a bad episode of scrubs.

I hear the doctors whispering in the hall and I know that they are talking about me. One Doctor comes in to examine me and runs into the hall and says "hey guys you gotta see this!".
It would not have been sso bad had they not been talking about my ****** and spider-***-a-tosis butt...

Plotter Guy
13-09-2008, 07:21 PM
a nurse whispers "Does 41 need to be in isolation?"
As I leave for my x-ray I realize I am in 41...........
comes in to examine me and runs into the hall and says "hey guys you gotta see this!".
It would not have been sso bad had they not been talking about my ****** and spider-***-a-tosis butt...
LOL Mad Not to minimize the situation, But are sure you've never been to Texas? and ARE YOU SURE we've never dated? :) :) :thspitcoffee::thspitcoffee::thspitcoffee: I've dated One to may girls that needed to be in isolation :banghead3:banghead3
and I've always wanted to experance that ***** kinda thing you speak so highly of :)!!!!!:thumbsup:

mad@cad
14-09-2008, 04:53 AM
My natural reply would be
bite me

butt
no thanks

I'm taken

:thspitcoffee:

Plotter Guy
14-09-2008, 05:27 AM
Ohh Mad you Flatter me, but I wasn't making any kind of offers or requests, I was just having PTSD Flash Backs of Gals I've dated that needed some Isolation Time in a "SPECIAL" kind of Hospital.
EXAMPLE: on my 30th Birthday I met this kinda cute NUTCASE at a friends Party, 2 weeks latter she's moved in, then I learn the Kicker she's only 19! To be Fair, it was all my fault she was going to meet me back @ my apt. because I had a few stops to make, and Like a DUMB @$$ I gave my key to get in, and she stopped on the way over to make her self one :)

mad@cad
18-09-2008, 01:20 PM
I once dated this tall, cute, really nice guy.

He told me he was 20, I was 22.

He told me he had a job where he could not get phone calls. I found out when the police came to my door looking for "a runaway" that he was only 16 and in the 10th grade!!!!!

We had dated for about 8 months. The spooky part was first his mom was pissed and then wanted me to keep dating him.


I've never had a need for keys. I just break glass. lol

mad@cad
18-09-2008, 01:23 PM
I don't need isolation.
Chemo, electric shock, librium maybe but not isolation.

No I've never been to Texas and you sound way to normal for me to have ever dated, unless you have some closet secret.

Plotter Guy
19-09-2008, 12:07 AM
No I've never been to Texas and you sound way to normal for me to have ever dated, unless you have some closet secret.
Well if you have to ask, I guess I have to tell, I'm a secret Closet Lesbian, I love girls, but I also like to occasionally wear dresses :) :) and hey when I was 15 you'd been my Dream Woman, except I wasn't that good looking.

mad@cad
22-09-2008, 01:12 PM
WHEN I WAS 15, PEOPLE FEARED ME.

Not kidding. I was weird before it was "normal".

Now you know I've siad I could never date another guy who wore my dresses.

There is sharing and then there is just WRONG. A girl has to draw the line somewhere....

Right?

Plotter Guy
22-09-2008, 02:29 PM
Well Mad when I was 15 I was a 38" waist and Weighed in at 285, so unless you're a strapping little girl I wouldn't worry about me wearing YOUR DRESSES, The simply wouldn't have fit :) now Accessories, that might have been a fight :) and trust me I terroized the town I lived in much worse than you could imagine! Remember I grew up in a VERRY Small West Texas Town with long hair to my mid back, I listen to AC/DC, New York Dolls, and other Devil Music, and I rode motorcycles. The locals thought I was Satin Him Self !!!!

NukeCad
22-09-2008, 04:01 PM
Well when I was a teenager I was a punk rocker (scarey but true).

But I think I am intimidated by your boots MAD.

Alan Cullen
22-09-2008, 04:51 PM
When I was a youngster, I wore boots....they were called GPs...also had fatigues I had to wear at the same time....called "jungle greens"...I took no c**p from anyone. Also had a fire stick stuck to my back called an SLR, but I prefered using an OMC. I still don't take c**p from anyone.

Plotter Guy
22-09-2008, 06:17 PM
when I was a Teenager Right after I moved to Dallas, I fell in with some guys that taught me how to dress sharp, I Loved my DOC MARTINS, and Fred Perry shirts, but I never fit in because I wouldn't cut my hair

mad@cad
23-09-2008, 01:28 AM
I wore car parts as earings. I pierced my own ears 12 or 13 times. Once with a fork.

If I was in a good mood I'd wear something dead.

I was a real dude magnet ...lol...NO... People ACTUALLY feared me.

My wardrobe consisted of mostly of Dead Kennedy's t-shirts and I had a brief mock madonna phase but no one got that I was making fun of her. I was the anti-izod and pinned the allligator on.

I was a terrorist for halloween. I also read the morning devotional for the school... but people just assumed I was late everyday for 4 years. I do admit to checking out my husbands assets and admiring them from ......afar.

Plotter Guy
23-09-2008, 01:52 AM
By the time I made it to Collage, I waqs such a Huge Johnny Thunders and the New York Dolls Fan, All I wanted to do was LOOK DIVINE like Johnny, and shoot Heroin. I'm just Glad I lived though that phase, :) :) :) :) :) :) I just wish I'd made it though those years with out all the Tattoos, I still Love all of them and they all still look good But @40 a few of them are kinda dated, Like the Black Flag stripes , or the Crucified Skin

mad@cad
19-01-2011, 01:30 PM
No way in Hell am I logging off with a 666 post count.

So where is the love guys?

37 minutes and no pm's??????

Webmaster
19-01-2011, 02:32 PM
Welcome welcome, now sit in the corner for going AWOL on us! ;)

mad@cad
19-01-2011, 04:21 PM
I was working my other job as professional patient. I'll be back in hiding for another surgery soon....but I shall return.